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New Years’ Cleaning Do’s & Don’ts

January 1, 2021January 4, 2021Homemaking, OrganizingLeave a Comment

I don’t know about you, but I’m always way more motivated to clean my house in January than I am in the spring. Sure, we still have a couple months of winter to weather, but the clean slate of the New Year pairs well with a clean house. Doing a deep clean in January also helps me remember to tackle some of those often overlooked tasks that can sneakily make your house feel dirty, like cleaning ceiling fans and baseboards. Today I’m sharing some do’s and don’ts I’ve learned over the years. Here’s to a fresh start and fresh bed linens!

DO start slow. Any big cleaning project can get overwhelming fast. The quickest way to ensure burnout is by biting off more than you can chew. Be gracious with yourself and realistic about what you can tackle in a given time frame. Prioritize cleaning first, worry about organizing later. I’m gonna repeat that for all my fellow Type A overachievers–You can organize later. Start by cleaning what you have. Make a list of what you’d like to get done in each room, then take one room at a time. Make a note of possible organizing projects, storage solutions, and household needs as you go. As long as you’re intentional, it will get done. Set a goal to have the house deep cleaned and organized by the end of January, not by the end of the day January 1st.

DON’T try to clean and organize your entire house at once. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you are not going to get your entire house clean during nap time. I tend to get spurts of energy, convince myself I’m going to take on the world, then get burnt out after an hour and crash hard. Be strategic, take baby steps, and know that it might get worse before it gets better.

DO purge what doesn’t serve you. Once you’ve scrubbed away the holiday stress (and ornament glitter) from every surface, you can start purging. Take a pass through the kids’ toys now that you’ve added Christmas presents into the mix. Give everyone’s wardrobe a glance. Any clothes that don’t fit your quarantine bod should be donated or stored away. Same goes for anything the kids have outgrown. Any space that is bursting at the seams needs to be evaluated. Any items you just can’t seem to find a place for should be addressed. Don’t over-complicate it. Is it actively serving a need or adding to your quality of life? If not, it’s clutter and it’s adding to your stress level. Make like Elsa and let it go.

DON’T get rid of everything you own, only to have to re-buy it later. This is hard to type out loud, but admitting is the first step. I…am an over-purger. I tend to get in fits where I feel almost claustrophobic and want as few things in my house as possible. I’ve learned the hard way that some things you just have to hang on to until you can afford to replace them well. (My husband is triggered by the term “throw pillow.”) I’ve learned that you should never get rid of clothes during your child-bearing years, because your size will change so frequently. As long as you’re using something or may legitimately have a need for it in the future, you can keep it. Just don’t let your definition of “need” get so broad that you keep everything.

DO get the tools you need to get started. Before you start, make sure you have all your household cleaners, sponges, brushes, mop refills, etc. There’s nothing more discouraging than getting some momentum going only to realize you can’t complete your to-do list with what you have on hand. Make it a point to include any cleaning products you’re out of or running low on in your next grocery run.

DON’T spend one bazillion dollars on organizing bins because you watched a Netflix show about Khloe Kardashian’s garage. Before you tackle any organizing projects in your house, step back and strategize. What do you need to store in this area? What pain points are you hoping to address? Think about it in a problem/solution format instead of just thinking about how you want it to look. You may have to shop around and compare prices before committing to containers. Keep receipts and price tags in case you need to return products that didn’t end up working. The price of home organization products has risen with the popularity of shows like The Home Edit and Tidying Up. You can very quickly end up spending an amount of money that doesn’t make sense for your needs. As eager as you are to have it done, take your time. Pin photo inspiration, measure your space, and make a plan before you shop.

Now that you’re armed with those tips, go forth and clean! I’m cheering you on, and remember, you have all year to accomplish your resolutions.

My Fall/Winter Mom Uniforms

November 11, 2020Motherhood, Shopping, Style2 Comments

When I decided I wanted to have a baby, I knew it would change my body. Through pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, I accepted the differences because I believed wholeheartedly a healthy baby was worth it. Sure, I wish my stomach would stop bending over when I do, and that my neck didn’t look like a deflating balloon. But I truly was at peace with the fact that my body had changed. What I wasn’t prepared for was how dressing this new body would become a source of stress. After Lyla was born, I continued wearing my maternity clothes. As the weeks passed and maternity clothes grew too large, I panicked. If I had to get dressed to go somewhere, I would sit on my bed and cry–staring at my closet overwhelmed. I didn’t know what size I was, or what would fit, or what would look good on me. Something about that was so unsettling to me. Having to re-learn a skill as basic as getting dressed sent me reeling. And if there’s one thing moms don’t have enough of, it’s time to spend on themselves. I rode it out in baggy lounge clothes until I was ready to try everything on, pack up or donate what didn’t fit, and start filling holes in my wardrobe with pieces in my new sizes. Over the last year, I’ve developed a few tried-and-true “uniforms” I can use to combat outfit anxiety before it starts. Today, I’m sharing those with you along with a few general tips for looking and feeling your best. One of the best things we can do is let our kids see us shine, too!

Loungewear looks: Let’s be real, as a mom in 2020, I spend most of my time at home having various substances wiped on my clothes. I try not to put pressure on myself to look Insta-worthy at all times, but I do feel significantly better when I actually get dressed. (Read: Take off my pajamas and put on other clothes) My criteria for an around-the-house outfit is: 1) I have to be able to answer the door in it without feeling ashamed. 2) I have to be able to jump in the car and take Lyla to the pediatrician if there’s an emergency (yes, this has happened multiple times). I generally alternate between two uniforms: Leggings with an over-sized graphic tee & joggers with a tank and cardigan. I can throw on sneakers with either outfit if we have to run out the door. I get most of these clothes at Victoria’s Secret (I only shop their semi-annual sale and their stuff lasts really well), Old Navy (great for comfy tees, tanks & cardigans), and Walmart (great for basic tees & cheap men’s tees that can be worn with leggings.) This outfit: Tee from Walmart, leggings are Chaps brand from Kohl’s that I got at Goodwill and I love them. The material is thick and good quality.

Running errands/Casual looks: High-waisted jeans with a striped tee & flannel is my errand-running uniform when the weather cools down. No matter the temperature, it gets HOT lugging around these babies. I love being able to tie my flannel around my waist. You can do this look with leggings too, I just prefer jeans because I’m really particular about having my shirt be long enough when I’m wearing leggings. When the weather gets really cold, opt for a sweater, Sherpa, or cardigan over a thinner shirt so you still have layers to work with. I pair with sneakers (I love Keds, TJ Maxx, and Walmart for cute canvas options) or low-heeled booties. This outfit: Lucky Brand jeans from TJ Maxx, tank & flannel from Old Navy. Mickey Mouse Keds old from Disney World but I love any style Keds.

Church/Dressy looks: Once I became a mom, I retired my beloved mini skirts and dresses. Not because I don’t like how they look (I still love them!), but purely for practical reasons. I’m constantly bending down to pick up Lyla or something she dropped. She pulls on my clothes when she’s on my hip. In short: modesty is key! I’ve adopted the midi/maxi peasant dress as my weapon of choice. I opt for high necklines and easy lengths (nothing I could trip over in flats). I usually pair them with heeled booties. Belt them for a more polished look, or wear loose and flowy for a laid-back style. (Or, realistically, if you plan to eat a big lunch after church). I’ve found the most luck with midis and maxis at Old Navy and Target. This outfit: Dress from Old Navy (they have several prints), Belt from H&M (a friend gave it to me so I don’t know the exact style)

Date night/Girls’ night/Baby-free time: When I know I’m going to be away from Lyla for a few hours, I like to have fun with my outfit. I wear necklaces because she always pulls on them and I end up taking them off. I wear an above-the-knee skirt or dress because I won’t be carrying her around. Or, as pictured, a white sweater which I would never dream of wearing around her! I will say, I wouldn’t advise buying clothes you can’t wear around your child. But this is a good time to pull out old faves you don’t typically get to wear anymore. This outfit: Sweater Old Navy last year, Hat from Walmart which is where all the cute, cheap hats are.

General tips: If you find yourself regularly facing what I’m calling “outfit anxiety,” here are some general tips that have been helpful for me.

1) Lean in to what works. Try to narrow down to a consistent color palette, a few fabrics you really love, or patterns that make you feel put together. For example, I wear different colors seasonally, but I always have mauve-y pinks, dusty blues, and neutrals because those are my favorite colors. As a result, a lot of my outfits can mix and match. I really love chambray, and white, flowy cotton tanks. I can pair them with lots of things. If I find good ones in my budget, I buy them. I feel great in stripes so a go-to outfit for me is a striped tee, jeans, and flats or sandals. No need to overthink it. If your wardrobe starts looking like slight variations of the same outfit, in my opinion that just means you’re honing in on your signature style.

2) Eliminate variables. If you’re putting an outfit together and you have one sticking point, swap it for something else. For example, you have on leggings but you’re having a tough time finding a top that looks good with them. Swap the leggings for jeans and go from there. If you find yourself in one of those high-stress moments when getting dressed, just start putting clothes on. Choose undergarments. Choose a pair of pants that work with the underwear (Example: if you put on dark underwear, you can’t wear white pants. That eliminates one option.) Choose a top that works with the pants. (Example: You chose black jeans, so choose a top that pairs well with them.) As you put on each piece, commit to it and don’t let anything you see in your closet derail you. Sometimes you have to treat yourself like a toddler to get out the door on time.

3) Put away things that don’t fit: Keeping up with your wardrobe is impossible during the baby years. There’s so much fluctuation and you want to keep things in case you have another baby in the future. Do your best to pack away anything that doesn’t fit you right here and now, and store it somewhere out of sight. Decision fatigue is real and having things in your line of sight you can’t wear just makes getting dressed harder.

Those are my tips and tricks for simplifying getting dressed for the day! Whether you’re staying around the house and won’t see a living soul other than your kid(s), or you’re getting out and about, I hope these were helpful! What about you? Do you have uniforms?

What’s in my [Diaper] Bag

September 24, 2020January 4, 2021Motherhood, Shopping, Style2 Comments

I used to love when magazines would feature a glimpse into a celebrity’s purse. They always called it “What’s in my bag?” The designer totes were filled with things like luxury beauty products, gorgeous personal care items, and interesting odds & ends. Well I’m no celebrity, but I have a bag! Today I’m showing you what’s in my diaper bag, from what kind of bag I use to how I pack it for every possible situation.

The bag:

When I was pregnant, several friends advised me to get a diaper backpack instead of a tote bag. Their reasoning was that it’s so much easier to have it on your back and have one less thing in your hands with baby in tow. I totally get what they meant because babies do require a ton of stuff, and any time you’re out with your baby you feel like you have a million things you’re holding. However, I found the backpack to be frustrating. No matter how many pockets it has, the big section of a backpack always turns into a black hole. I hated not being able to just reach into it for things. I had to unload whatever I was carrying and take it off to get into it. After using it for about six months, I switched to an open, structured tote and haven’t looked back. I like being able to glance in and make sure it’s all packed. I reach into it all the time while it’s on my shoulder, and toss things in on the top when needed. This particular tote is from a store that went out of business so I can’t link it, but I’ve linked some similar options below.

Links: Amazon tote (comes in lots of colors), H&M Shopper, Walmart leopard straw tote

The contents:

Our diaper bag stays packed with diaper changing supplies, a change of clothes for Lyla, small toys, basic baby care items, my purse items, my wallet, phone, glasses/sunglasses, and keys. I put a full itemized list at the bottom that you can use as a checklist! To keep everything organized, I use these clear bags. I use the larger ones for travel, and three small ones in the diaper bag: one for clothes, one for toys, and one for baby care. For my stuff I use a zipper pouch so that when I need to leave the diaper bag with Lyla (like in the church nursery or at grandparents’ houses), I can just put the pouch in my purse and have all my stuff ready to go.

In addition to these staples, make sure your bag can also fit feeding supplies, baby’s outerwear (jackets are supposed to come off in the car seat and oftentimes they get hot in their stroller), loveys/stuffed animals, and any other random thing you might find yourself needing to carry. Basically, make sure your tote is large enough that it has negative space. There will be so many times you just need to get something out of your hand and it’s so helpful to be able to just toss it in.

I hope this post is helpful to those of you in the diaper bag stage of life. I clean mine out multiple times a week to keep it from becoming a bottomless pit of junk. Below is a checklist you can use to pack your bag. Modify it according to your needs!

My Biggest Lessons as a Rookie Parent

September 11, 2020January 4, 2021MotherhoodLeave a Comment

Parenting years are like dog years. Even though I’ve only been a parent for one year, I’ve learned so many things (usually the hard way) that I want to share. Below are my biggest takeaways and hardest-won wisdom from the first year of parenting.

No one remembers the newborn stage.

These wise words were passed to me at one of my baby showers, and now I’m passing them on to you. When you say you’re having a baby, everyone pictures a six month old. Anyone who has children over the age of three has forgotten the newborn stage. If we all had vivid memories of the first few months of a baby’s life, the species would not survive. People will have expectations for you that aren’t realistic. People will make ignorant comments about your choices. Everyone gets so excited when a new baby is added to the family, and they start picturing all the wonderful memories they’re going to make. Then the baby gets here and…they don’t do anything. They just lie there and soil diapers and cry. Be loving, patient, and firm as you help jog their memory on the realities of newborn life. 9 times out of 10, they will have a That’s So Raven-style vision of themselves in your situation back in the day.

Snaps in the streets, zippers in the sheets

Repeat after me: snaps in the streets, zippers in the sheets. Do not put your baby to bed for the night in snap pajamas unless you want to teeter on the brink of insanity at 3 o’clock in the morning. Zipper jammies are the only jammies. Bonus points if they have the option to zip from either the top or bottom. For the newborn stage, I preferred snap-on outfits for daytime. You can lay them completely flat, lay baby on top, and snap them in. The alternative is having to pull something over your baby’s teeny tiny head multiple times a day.

Never move a happy baby

As a new parent, you constantly feel like you should be doing something for your baby. You try to anticipate their needs, often to avoid hearing them cry when they get dissatisfied. Please hear me when I say: never move a happy baby. Make this your parenting mantra and repeat it to everyone who comes over to see the baby: If baby is happy, we leave baby alone. Because, inevitably, they will start crying. Guess what? If your baby needs or wants something, they will cry. It’s their WHOLE thing. Crying is their only way to communicate. If they are at all displeased with their current circumstances, you will know it. I’m not saying only pick up your baby if they cry. I’m just saying, less is more. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. If they’re playing happily on their activity mat, don’t say, “Oh they’ve been playing here for a long time, they’re probably about to get bored. I’ll move them to their Boppy so they can prop up!” NO. Do not do it. Leave that baby playing happily on their mat. So much of parenting is just learning to breathe through the moments.

Every mom has a capacity; operate at yours.

This is another nugget that was doled out to me by a mom friend. Every mom is different. Every baby is different. Some moms feel like they can snap their baby in the car seat and go all over creation, no problem. Some moms are overwhelmed by the thought of a simple errand (it me). Some babies are super low-maintenance and easygoing. Some babies thrive on a schedule or are more sensitive. Your household, your lifestyle, your personality, and your baby’s personality are all unique. Find what works for you and own it! Lyla was every bit of four months old before I felt comfortable taking her places. At her 48 hour checkup, the nurse said, “The flu’s already started this year. Stay home!” As a brand spanking new mama, those words embedded themselves in my brain. I was convinced we had to stay home for all of flu season, and then flu season ran long. Eventually, I was ready to start trying outings. I started with a small grocery run, then worked my way up. Lyla and I both prefer to follow a predictable routine. I stick to it as much as I can while also leaving room to live life. Some days we get out and about. Some days I just don’t have the energy and I know we are parked at the house that day. Don’t get caught up in what you “should” be doing. There are a million ways to do this mom thing right. Find your way and stick with it!

Don’t be a glutton for punishment

When Lyla was 5 weeks old, we found out she had a milk allergy. There are only two types of formula in existence that she can drink. Both of them are $40 a can. Stretched thin by the cost, we tried to be frugal. We had ONE bottle in our entire house. ONE. We tried several and returned the ones that didn’t work for us. Instead of buying more of the bottles we were using, we washed one bottle and reused it every time. It sucked. And it wore out the nipple so we had to buy more. When she moved up to the next bottle size, we bought a multi-pack. One day into using it we were laughing at ourselves. Why had we ever lived with one bottle?! And yet, we didn’t learn our lesson. Fast forward to the sleep sack. Lyla sleeps and takes every nap in a sleep sack. For MONTHS we only had one because we were too cheap to buy another. If she peed or spit up and got it wet, we were out of luck. If it was in the wash…you guessed it, out of luck. We realized it was the bottle situation all over again! We bought a second sleep sack and don’t know how we ever lived without it. The moral of these stories is: don’t be a glutton for punishment. Don’t make life harder on yourself when there are resources available. If sleep is a nightmare and you don’t know how to fix it, take a sleep training course (We did Taking Cara Babies Newborn Course). If there’s anything you use as part of your daily routine, buy multiples! Of course sometimes there will be financial constraints, but try your best to skimp in areas other than baby care. It will save your sanity just as much as it will serve your baby.

Those are my MVPT’s (most valuable parenting tips)! I’m certainly not an expert. I have a lot left to learn; but I hope these tips will be helpful to someone who’s a step behind me on their parenting journey. What about you? What were the greatest pieces of advice you received about parenting? Any lessons you’ve learned the hard way? Share them in the comments!

A Letter To My Pregnant Self

September 1, 2020January 4, 2021Motherhood, Spiritual2 Comments

Dear Ashton,

I know you’re restless. I know you’re so ready to meet the sweet baby in your giant belly…to see her, to hold her, to know her and watch her grow. I know it’s hot. And your ankles have fat rolls. And she’s sitting so low in your pelvis, you’re having chronic nerve pain that some (probably male) jerk has eloquently named “lightning crotch.” And I promise not to go all Trace Adkins on you and tell you you’re gonna miss this. Because you’re not. No one misses those things. But I am asking you to do something crazy. Enjoy it.

Enjoy it because it will never be like this again. Go walk around a store and take as much time as you want. Go get an Icee at the gas station because the whim strikes you. Get in and out of the car a hundred times running pointlessly around town. Nap when you’re tired. Watch a movie. Sit your butt on a couch and watch TV and eat snacks uninterrupted and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CHERISH IT!

You’ve always been such a good student. You’ve read all the books, taken all the classes, asked all the questions, and sought out advice. And sweet pea…none of it will prepare you. Because nothing on this planet can prepare you. You weren’t a mother before, and now you are. A fundamental cosmic shift has taken place. The Lord is doing a new thing. I know you know this intellectually, but I know it experientially, and it cannot be overstated. Don’t worry about being prepared. Walk into that delivery room with open hands and a heart willing to give all of yourself to this child and you will have done everything you need to do. I mean, yeah, build the crib. But don’t get bogged down in some “pre-baby checklist.”

You’re going to wonder if you’ve made a mistake. You’re going to wonder why you wanted this in the first place. You’re going to wonder if you’re cut out to be a mom and know that it’s too late to wonder that. You’re going to sit in the bathroom floor with the fan on to drown out the sound of your baby’s cries, shouting at God that if he controls the whole universe…why can’t he help your baby GO TO SLEEP?!

Your baby’s spit up will defy physics. You will watch as the carpet, the couch, the rocking chair you obsessed over, are all covered with stains you would need a degree in chemistry to get out. Actually, scratch that. Your husband and father both have degrees in chemistry and the stains are still there. You will sit burping her, bleary-eyed in the dead of night, and feel the cups of your bra fill with her vomit. This, despite the fact that you are wearing a tank top, t-shirt, and robe over said bra.

And that bra. While we’re on the subject, it’s your nursing bra. You’re not using it for nursing. You’re using it because you realized it was you or breastfeeding, and only one could win. You made a survival decision for you and your baby both. And now your breasts, the same ones who would not release their milk as your baby screamed a scream so fierce it made you dizzy with nausea, are taunting you by leaking that milk on all your shirts.

You see, dear girl, this mothering thing is not for the weak. So in the moments where you feel weak, remember that you’re not. No one weak could do what you’re about to do. No one weak would go through a 14 step process just to use the bathroom and then walk out and pour love and warmth and comfort over the squirming little creature that tore some very important things on its way into this world. I need you to hear me when I tell you that you CAN do it. You are meant to do it. You are the best person for the job.

And can I tell you something else? It’s not all combat. In fact, when you add it all up together, the hard moments don’t seem to matter much in comparison to the sweet ones. You will hold that baby in the hospital, just a few hours old, and feel more like yourself than you’ve ever felt. You will hold her in the warm yellow glow of her nursery, making silent, awed eye contact with your husband, feeling like if someone were looking in the window at this scene, it would look like something out of 1950’s Disney animation. Yes, your world will burst into Mary Blair-style technicolor when she smiles, when she coos, when she rests her fat little cheek on your shoulder, and when she sleeps peacefully…a teeny tiny burrito in her comparatively giant crib.

Your eyes will fill with tears drawn from a well deep within when she is–all of a sudden–able to do something she couldn’t do before. One day she could only lie flat on her back, and now she can roll! One day she could only scoot, and now she can crawl! And so quickly it will become, “One day they laid her on my chest, and now she’s pushing her walker across the floor, calling me ‘mama.'”

For no cliche has ever been more true than this one: The days are long, but the years are short. There will be long days, to be sure. Days when you pray for a time machine to fast forward past the crying, past the sleepless nights, past the feelings of helplessness you both have. But there will also be days where you are planning her first birthday party, and you actually cannot believe her life can be measured in years now.

So treasure these days, dear heart. Rest as much as you can. The sun is setting on your newlywed days and I want you to soak them up for all they’re worth. You’re about to be broken down and built into something different, so just love who you are right now.

And please, for the love of all, eat something more than a bowl of ramen noodles on the night of September 8th, 2019. Trust me.